Picture This: Your Spouse's Online Photos May--Or May Not--Be Telltale Signs Of Cheating
If your spouse is constantly posting selfies online, does that mean that your spouse is cheating on you? The mere act of posting photos on a social media site is not in and of itself a red flag--after all, social media sites are designed for sharing and staying in touch with others--but certain patterns can, indeed, signify infidelity. Studies show that constantly posting selfies can signify diminished partner intimacy, so even if your spouse is not cheating, the constant posting may be interfering with your marriage.
How do you whether you should be legitimately concerned or if you are overreacting? The best thing to do is to schedule an appointment with a marriage counselor like one from Drake Counseling Services. If you are questioning your spouse's online activities, then there may be some underlying problems in your marriage. Until then, you can have a better idea about your spouse's fidelity by taking a closer look at these photos.
Who is Your Spouse Reaching Out To With These Photos?
Do your spouse's selfies constantly elicit a barrage of comments from users of the opposite sex, especially users that are not within you and your spouse's "inner circle?" Or, rather, do these photos generate attention mostly from family members and close friends?
If you can glean what kind of audience your spouse is trying to reach with these photos, you can potentially glean a lot about your spouse's wandering eye (or lack thereof!). First, take a close look at the pictures themselves. Do these photos include not only your spouse, but also you and your children? If so, your spouse most likely intends for close family and friends to view and comment on them.
On the other hand, are your spouse's photos revealing? Are you cropped out of the photos? Do they frequently show your spouse in suggestive poses? These are bad omens, but not always guaranteed signs of cheating. If your spouse is constantly posting photos like these, then your spouse is most likely trying to garner attention from the opposite sex--and not your grandmother!
What If Your Spouse's Photos Are Suggestive?
Photos that are suggestive and never include you are much more likely to invite potential online suitors to comment and reach out to your spouse than wholesome images. Before you immediately accuse your spouse of cheating, however, take a close look at the relationship you have with your spouse--and be honest with yourself. Do you compliment your spouse and your spouse's appearance? If not, your spouse may be posting these photos not to find a potential affair, but to get validation and attention that you are not providing. This is not healthy, either, but you can immediately take steps to fill the void that your spouse is feeling and trying to fill online.
Keep in mind that a few selfies of your spouse in a revealing low-cut dress, or looking buff in swim trunks, or with a "come-hither" expression, are usually no cause for alarm. This is especially true if your spouse posted these photos before dating you. Take your spouse's photo gallery as a whole, and if these less-than-ideal photos are amid many more innocent pictures, your spouse is probably not trying to find an affair through those social media photos.
Ultimately, communicate with your spouse and trust your gut. If you are bothered by your spouse's posted photos, have a non-threatening conversation with your spouse. Do not be accusatory, but express how these photos make you feel undervalued. Your spouse also may open up about a need to look good in front of old high school friends, or a need for more attention from you, or even an admission of cheating.
Your spouse's posted photos would not likely bother you if your gut has not already tried to tip you off to something not feeling "right." If this is the case, you may have subconsciously picked up on other signs of your spouse cheating. Schedule an appointment with a marriage counselor, either with your spouse or on your own. You may have your own unresolved issues that are causing you to overreact, or you very well may have accidentally discovered your spouse's cheating ways.